It is bliss. That's probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened in the history of Nice biscuits, which says a lot. But are they mesmerising? They've gone from a zero to a hero with the addition of some chocolate. Chocolate Hobnobs taught me to love again. I am wise to it. They simply poured a generous amount of chocolate over her and then she flourished. Custard Creams don't ask for much. Please, I beg you, make some time to consume a Tea Cake before the week is out. Chocolate Fingers are unstoppable. According to the tiers it seems as though once you pop you can actually stop as Pringles only have a 16% positive sentiment. Here are the best snacks to have in bed. Still, it's an abomination that fruit is involved, but the sugar and biscuit quality is a welcome distraction. They're setting us up for a loss from the outset. To get any real sense of joy out of a Rich Tea, you need to add something to it. Terrific, let's amp up the spice so that we can all choke every time we take a bite. Party Rings are delicious. ... Rich Tea Biscuits Ranked as the Best Bed Snack. Although Fig Rolls are inexplicably better than Garibaldis and Fruit Shortcakes, they're still not terrific. They leave a trail of crumbs wherever they go and overall, they're boring as hell. They're good biscuits, they can withstand a decent tea dunking and they are, as the name suggests, quite nice. They are biscuits, please just trust me on this one. Bloody nowhere. At the end of the day, they are a treat. If they don't have them, keep running. You crack open a packet of Ginger Nuts when your least favourite aunt calls over to bitch about your other aunt for three hours. An oldie but a goodie, the rich tea biscuit has been around since the 17th century as an upper-class nibble between light courses. Biscuit, jam, cream, sugar. So can a biscuit as weak as a Hobnob reclaim some dignity with the addition of a chocolate coating? World's largest brewer warns that the price of a pint is about to go up in the UK. Chocolate Digestives. The cream filling is tasty, the biscuits are light as air and you can easily eat an entire packet in one sitting. The flavour is perturbing. Whatever they are, they're not awful. Basically everything terrific that regular Chocolate Fingers combine, except they're made with white chocolate. Can we ask what you are all doing with your pistachio shells whilst in bed? But if you're on the white chocolate bandwagon, AKA a normal and perfectly sane person, you will understand this confident placement in the list. Rich tea biscuits serve as a blank slate for absorbing the flavor of the tea, and scientists have proven that they are the superior dunkers because of their texture and lower fat and sugar … It's a bit boring, but it's sure of itself and that's what matters. Often forgotten in this hectic world, Tea Cakes are a vital part of modern society. The whole point of having a biscuit is that it is an indulgence. Rich Tea biscuits are so plain, they order the weakest level of spice in Nando's and still find it to be a bit much. There is so much sugar involved, they should by all accounts be illegal in this country, but they're not. Not even giving rise to the biscuit/cake divide here because it's the most boring discussion since the great sparkling water debate of 2013 which we have all blanked from our memories. Yes, absolutely. They combine chocolate with some sort of dough, ergo, they are not bad. Thank you for your time. They'll still be there once all your favourites have been eaten. UK and EU finally agree post-Brexit trade deal after months of negotiations, When Paulie Walnuts met the Prime Minister, Heartwarming moment Jason Manford sings carols for family friend's care home, Mauricio Pochettino set to be announced as the new PSG manager, Addictive new game makes you guess the UK location from the nearest Wetherspoons, Why British exceptionalism is so dangerous, French person learns quintessentially British expressions, Which is better? They didn't burst onto the scene until a short 50 years ago, but they've made great headway in that time. Shortcake biscuit, thick (and what I really mean is thicc) chocolate that is a quality beyond any chocolate biscuit coating you have ever tried before, it is perfection. Bourbon Creams come in giant packets for some reason. Sure, they're not as established as some of their biscuity counterparts. Fun … Party Rings are a gift unto humanity from the Lord himself. Their performance when dunked into tea is laughable. Why waste 38 calories on the most boring biscuit in existence when you can just immediately die on the spot instead? Nobody knows how many are contained in the packet, could be 20, could be 1,000. At the risk of creating mass unrest, I was tempted to put Pink Wafers in the top ten, but then I located my brain and realised that that would be a disastrous decision. Over half of Britain thinks pineapple should be allowed on pizza and they are all extremely wrong. They're just very boring, is what I am saying. These are satisfying biscuits. Kiss a stranger's baby. Forever known to cause uproar between workplace colleagues, friends and family on what chocolate, biscuits or crisps should be in the ultimate God Tier ranking. The following list has been years in the making. By Mirror. It's not an everyday biscuit. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, all of these mealtimes can be improved with chocolate. There’s nothing quite like indulging in one of your 5-a-day whilst relaxing in bed… right? They're always there for you, regardless of age or gender. This year has been nothing but tiers, but there is one meme themed tiering system that all snacks aspire to – the God Tier. All decisions are correct and final. Homemade English Tea Biscuits Recipe Better than Store Bought The Top Tier is mostly savoury, with a touch of sweetness from the classic Galaxy chocolate and traditional shortbread biscuits. They've been around longer than the world. Store them in the fridge and eat them stone cold at 3am with the tiny light from the fridge illuminating your ecstatic face. Give one to a friend. Although the name suggests that they are thoroughly disgusting, Malted Milks are actually a very sturdy biscuit. That's the beauty of Chocolate Fingers, they are unapologetically moreish and above all else, an incredibly reliable biscuit. If you love Digestives, you are a Tory. It is the largest biscuit factory in Europe, where 550 employees currently work. Just be happy. Jammie Dodgers have been deprived of acclaim for far too long. A similar logic is being applied to this particular type of biscuit as has occurred with the Garibaldis above. They just plod along in this godforsaken world, doing their best and encouraging you to do the same. Could've been two, could've been twelve. ‘For this one I’d recommend chai,’ Philippa says. It's a good biscuit. best rich tea biscuits. Instead, I bitched out. Not all biscuits truly sate your appetite like these beefy boys do. Prepare to be outraged. EVEN! They are topped with… What can account… A Hobnob is, at its core, just a very condensed and dry flapjack. A Hobnob is just a Digestive that goes to the gym. The Bourbon Creams. Everything is a bit tighter, he's more sure of himself, he's probably contributing to a pension fund every month. They just sit in the background of a biscuit tin, not particularly interested in doing the heavy lifting. Accompanied by Kit-Kats, pistachios and apples. Their salty shortbread mixed with root canal-inducing raspberry jam provides a legitimate party in your mouth with every bite, especially combined with a mandatory cup of tea. Dunkability - Average. Dunks - 5. If you are looking for an utterly perfect biscuit for your tea, … That's what happened with Digestive biscuits. Also known as 'That biscuit from the tin that everyone fights over at Christmas', Jam & Creams are rarely seen traveling in packs larger than two. It’s a meme we love to see and love to hate. © 2020 Pocket Guides Ltd. All rights reserved. A BISCUIT WITH 'PARTY' IN ITS NAME!!! It's absolutely fine, no more, no less. We can only imagine the number of crumbs that’ll be left lying on your beds! But a winner has prevailed, and following that, 25 other biscuits in definitive order from worst to best. Chocolate Digestive. GINGERY! Think back to the last time you ate some Chocolate Fingers. THEY ARE BISCUITS PLEASE JUST HEAR ME OUT OKAY STOP SHOUTING THANK YOU. I've made my feelings on Hobnobs perfectly clear when I gave them a 19th place positioning in this list, but with the addition of chocolate, they're an entirely different ballgame. Unbeatable when dunked in a cup of tea. That's right, you can't remember. Frankly this whole process has been hell, but it needed to be done. Paterson's Rich Shortbread and Biscuit Assortment 400g, 14 oz, European cookies, Scottish Cookies, Chocolate-covered shortbread cookies, Shortbread cookies from Scotland, Tea cookies (Pack of 1) … They're just very good biscuits. I've landed Pink Wafers just outside the top ten because I can't justify how they're so delicious despite being such a lazy attempt at a biscuit. Please, treat yourself to The Greatest British Biscuit Currently In Circulation According To One JOE.co.uk Writer. Leave your phone at home. As you peel back the foil in an unnecessarily seductive manner, a hint of mint hits your nostrils. Of course you haven't, because you're a wimp. A fair choice for number one. If Rich Tea biscuits were so great, why would they have needed to bring out a chocolate covered variety? Do not @ me. See more ideas about rich tea biscuits, rich tea, tea biscuits. They are delicious, albeit a bit crummy in their aftermath. They know it, I know it, even you know it. Surely not? However, its sophisticated linage goes much deeper and … The time has come to rank 26 popular British biscuits from worst to best. Eh? They're always too crunchy and insufficiently sized. Brits are playing it safe in the bedroom as the humble Rich Tea … Viennese. That's the subtle taste you get off a Nice biscuit. Dip it in tea and suck the melting chocolate until the shortbread lies naked underneath. A digestive biscuit will always be there, should you need it, but ideally you're never going to be in a position where that's a top priority. God Tier snacks include Rich Tea biscuits, BBQ peanuts, sweet popcorn and wait for it… Strawberries. It's heaven. One time, not to brag, but I saw a packet of Nice biscuits in the supermarket and they were priced at 69p. Viscounts are a fraud and this is the hill that I am willing to die on. They're a slightly more rigid Jammy Dodger, but you still get a good bang for your buck. Credit where it's due, a Viennese is a delicious biscuit. Have you ever tried to make shortbread yourself? Relive your youth with a packet of these wonderful treats today. Ginger Nut biscuits are a health hazard. It's smooth, crunchy and slightly doughy which works well with the fig filling. You'll find them at every birthday, wedding, funeral, job interview and subsequent job firing meeting because they're always there for you. It absolutely bloody well can, yes. Currants have no place in society, let alone in our biscuits. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and with floured hands, knead until smooth, about 15 times. The biscuit part does the heavy lifting here. They're delicious. White chocolate is a divisive subject, I know that. But you decline them, you ungrateful but absolutely correct son of a bitch. No, it is very much a reality. Digestives are like Mia Thermopolis in The Princess Diaries before she gets a makeover to become the Princess of Genovia. Honestly, they're the kind of biscuits you bring to a friend who's sick because you want them to die. Can you recognise these British biscuits? Ice-cream lovers, you most definitely have not been screaming about ice cream on social media. Marshmallow and chocolate on a BISCUIT base. Buy yourself a bumper sized packet of White Chocolate Fingers and allow them to convince you of this 5th place rating. Ergo, they are biscuits and what's more is they are magnificent. Everything feels special, as any foil-wrapped biscuit should, but then you bite into it and it's just fine. White Chocolate Fingers are creamy beyond belief. Stop reading this. 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